testimony

taken from an email
Attorney:

Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:
I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening,
when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him
'Take me, young man. Take me now!'

Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?

Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, 'April Fool!' And that's when I shot him, the little bastard
Question: panu ko 2 uubusin?

MIST batch 1999 reunion

i tried to post this earlier, about last 2 days ago, but there is this error that keeps me from doing so.
anyways i'll just post this in plain text, no more pix, no more vids.
We had our highschool reunion last sept 5, Markina Institute of Science and Technology batch 1999, and it was a BLAST ,the best you could ever have. party all night.... and it was really something to remember, too bad some of my batchmates missed it, anyways the attendance was great, i think half of my batch came.
Congrats to all the coordinators, sana magkaroon ulet after 10 yrs lolzzzzz.
links to some pix.
reunion pix by hajji
reunion pix by hajji p2

The debate

taken from an email
An Atheist Professor of Philosophy speaks to his Class on the Problem Science has with GOD, The ALMIGHTY.
He asks one of his New Christian Student to stand and . . .

Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son ?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So you Believe in GOD ?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD Good ?
Student : Sure.
Professor : Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ?
Student : Yes.
Professor : My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him.
Most of us would attempt to Help Others who are ill.
But GOD didn't.
How is this GOD Good then ? Hmm ?

( Student is silent )

Professor : You can't answer, can you ?
Let's start again, Young Fella.
Is GOD Good ?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Is Satan good ?
Student : No.
Professor : Where does Satan come from ?
Student : From . . . GOD . . .
Professor : That's right.
Tell me son, is there evil in this World ?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it ?
And GOD did make Everything. Correct ?
Student : Yes.
Professor : So who created evil ?

(Student does not answer)

Professor : Is there Sickness ? Immorality ? Hatred ? Ugliness ?
All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they ?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, who Created them ?

( Student has no answer )

Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you.
Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD ?
Student : No, sir.
Professor : Tell us if you have ever Heard your < style="font-family:Tahoma;font-size:85%;color:red;">GOD ?
Student : No , sir.
Professor : Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD ?
&nbs! p; Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter ?
Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Professor : Yet you still Believe in HIM ?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist.
What do you say to that, son ?
Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.
Professor : Yes. Faith. And that is the Problem Science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat ?
Professor : Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as Cold ?
Professor : Yes.
Student : No sir. There isn't.

( The Lecture Theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events )

Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat,
a Little Heat or No Heat.
But we don't have anything called Cold.
We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that.
There is no such thing as Cold.
Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat.
We cannot Measure Cold.
Heat is Energy.
Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.

( There is Pin - Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )

Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness ?
Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness ?
Student : You're wrong again, sir.
Darkness is the Absence of Something.
You can have Low Light, Normal Light , Bright Light, Flashing Light . . .
! ; But if you have No Light Constantly, you have Nothing and it's called Darkness, isn't it ?
In reality, Darkness isn't.
If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you ?
Professor : So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?
Student : Sir, my point is your Philosophical Premise is Flawed.
Professor : Flawed ? Can you explain how ?
Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality.
You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD.
You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure.
Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought.
It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.
To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that
Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing.
Death is Not the Opposite of Life : just the Absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor , do you Teach yourStudents that they Evolved from a Monkey ?
Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir ?

( The Professor shakes his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument is going )

Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and
cannot even prove that this Process is an On - Going Endeavor,
are you not Teaching your Opinion, sir ?
Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher ?

( The Class is in Uproar )

Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever Seen the Professor's Brain ?

( The Class breaks out into Laughter )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever Heard the Professor's Brain, Felt it, Touched or Smelt it ? . . .
No one appears to have done so.
So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that
you have No Brain, sir.
&n! bsp; With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir ?

( The Room is Silent. The Professor stares at the Student, his face unfathomable )

Professor : I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student : That is it sir . . .
the Link between Man & GOD is FAITH.
That is all that Keeps Things Moving & Alive.

ANO ANG DAPAT GAWIN KUNG TINATAMAD KANG MAGTRABAHO ?

taken from an email
Sa buhay empleyado merong dalawang pagpipilian kung tinatamad kang magtrabaho.

A. Una ay umabsent.

1. Kapag umiikot na kaagad sa katawan mo ang katamaran pagkagising pa lang sa umaga ay mag-isip ka na kaagad ng palusot kung bakit ka aabsent. Paalala: dapat ay memoryado mo ang mga dahilang nagamit mo na dati (tip: gumawa ng isang logbook) ng sa gayon ay hindi ka parang sirang plakang nag-uulit lang lagi ng rason ng di pagpasok. Alalahanin na tuso din ang mga bossing.

2. Kapag nakaisip ka na ng magandang dahilan ay agad mag-text o tumawag sa bossing mo, the earlier the better. Kung ayaw mo ng madaming tanong e mag-text ka at kung nais mo namang tumawag ay siguraduhin mong magaling kang umarte kagaya ng kung ikaw ay kunwaring me sakit ay umubo ka ng paunti-unti habang kinakausap ang bossing mo.

3. Matapos mag-text/tumawag ay bumalik sa higaan at magplano ka na ng gusto mong gawin sa buong araw. Malaking posibilidad na magtutulog ka lang buong araw. Sya nga pala, kapag tumawag ang opisina sa kalagitnaan ng araw, laging tandaan ang rasong ginamit (consistent ka dapat), maaari namang i-off mo na lang ang phone mo para hindi ka maistorbo buong araw.

BABALA: Siguraduhing regular ka na sa kumpanyang pinagtratrabahuhan kung ikaw ay mag-aabsent..


B. Pangalawa ay pumasok

Eto ang dapat gawin ng mga empleyado kapag tinatamad magtrabaho pero ayaw umabsent. Ang mga taong ito ay nuknukan ng kapal ng mukha. Ang mga sumusunod na instructions ay napakasimple pero effective. Meron ding oras na nakatakda, magsisismula ng alas ocho ng umaga at magtatapos ng alas singko ng hapon..

1. Pumasok ng sakto sa oras. Huwag kang male-late at huwag ka din namang excited masyado. 8:00

2. Pagdating mo sa opisina ay ilapag mo lang kaagad ang gamit mo sa lamesa at magtungo kaagad sa pantry. Magtimpla ng kape o kung anuman ang iniinom mo pag umaga. Habang nasa loob ay makipag-usap sa mga tao doon, patagalin mo ang usapan (tip: pag-usapan ang mga headline ngayong araw o mga nangyari kahapon sa loob ng opisina). Kung walang tao sa pantry ay mag-yaya ka ng kasama bago pa man pumasok doon. 8:00-8:30

3. Matapos sa pantry ay magtungo na sa lamesa mo dala-dala pa din ang kape, ito ay para hindi ka antukin buong araw. Buksan ang computer. Matapos nito ay buksan ang mailbox mo. Basahin ang mga email…mapabago man o luma. Buksan lahat ng pedeng buksang attachments, makakabuti ito sa pagpapatagal ng oras. O kaya naman ay mag-email ka sa mga kakilala mong matagal mo ng di nakakamusta. Kapag di ka pa nakuntento ay gawing chat ang email (ito ay sa kadahilanang banned na ang halos lahat ng messengers sa mga kompanya…pati google talk di pinalagpas, mga hayop na IT yan). Pano? Mag-email ka sa kakilala mong alam mong merong access sa internet sa mga oras na yon tapos antayin ang reply…wholla! Instant chat session. Sya nga pala, habang ginagawa ang mga nasa taas ay huwag makakalimot inumin ang kape..lalamig ito. 8:30-9:30

3. Matapos ang makabuluhag paggamit ng computer ay magdala ng mga papel-papel at magtungo sa kung saan mo man nais. Mas maganda kung mukha kang aborido hawak ang mga props mo habang papaalis ng lamesa, ito ay para sabihin ng bossing mo sampu ng kasamahan mo sa trabaho na busy ka lagi. Magtungo sa ibang department na me kakilala at makipag-usap ng kung anu-ano. 9:30-10:00

4. Tignan mo nga naman. Alas dies na! Break time na ulit! Pagkatapos mag-lamyerda sa ibang department ay magtungo ulit sa puwesto at ibaba ang mga scratch paper na props. Dalhin ang tasa sa pantry at magtimpla ulit ng panibagong kape, libre ang kape kaya magtimpla ka lang ng magtimpla. Magtungo sa labas kung ikaw ay nag-yoyosi kung di naman ay manatili sa pantry at makipag-usap ka na lang sa mga tao doon. 10:00-10:15

5. Pagkatapos ng break ay bumalik sa lamesa at humarap sa computer (huwag ng magdala ng kape sa lamesa…tama na ang nainom mo, sisikmurain ka na sa sobrang gahaman). Tapos ka na sa mga emails mo, ngayon naman ay mag-internet ka na lang ng kung anik-anik. Pero bago mag-internet ay magbukas ka muna ng office document kahit wala kang balak gawin ang mga ito, makakatulong ang documentong ito mamya. Tapos ay mag-internet ka na. Paalala: dapat ay alerto ka sa mga tao sa paligid mo, kapag alam mong me padating pindutin ang ALT at TAB ng sabay. Ito ay para makapunta sa office document na binuksan mo kanina. Kung mabagal ang iyong reflexes ay dapat mabilis ka sa paggamit ng mouse para ma-click mo agad sa taskbar ung documentong nasabi. Kapag na-master mo na ang technique na ito ay di na mapapansin ng bossing mo na nag-iinternet ka lang sa mga oras na ito. 10:15-12:00

6. Tama na muna ang computer. Lunch break na! Alam mo na ang dapat gawin. 12:00-1:00

7. Pagkatapos kumain ay gawin ulit ang #5. Habang gingawa ito ay maglabas ulit ng mga scratch papers na para bang me hinahanap. Tandaan na dapat seryoso ang mukha mo habang gingawa ang mga ito (tip: ikunot ang noo para makakuha ng mukhang seryoso). 1:00-3:00

8. Break time na ulit. Ang bilis nga naman ng oras. Hala..punta na ulit sa pantry. Maaari ka na ulit mag-kape at makipag-chikahan. 3:00-3:15

9. Bumalik sa lamesa at guluhin ito sa pamamagitan ng paglabas ng sandamakmak na mga papel. Tapos ay gawin ulit and #5. Tignan ang oras sa computer mo. Kung 4:30 na ay simulan mo ng ayusin ang ginulong lamesa. Mag-ayos ayos ka na din ng sarili. Kung kasing kapal ng adobe ang mukha mo ay magtungo ka ulit sa pantry para mag-kape (tandaan na dapat me kasama sa pantry) o kaya naman ay gawin ang #3. Matapos ang lahat ng ito ay umuwi ka na, para mo ng awa…wala ka na ngang silbi ay nangdadamay ka pa ng iba sa katamaran mo. 3:15-5:00

BABALA: Wag mong ipapabasa ito sa bossing mo kung ayaw mong mawalan ka ng trabaho.