7 reasons not to mess with children

taken from an email
i got this from a friend:
read on
1... A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ". 2.......A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute." 3.....A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill." 4.......One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?" 5........The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead." 6.......A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty." This is cute............ 7.......The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples. It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it made you laugh, your friends will laugh too....

My Fellow Filipinos

taken from an email
it is lonely someone like us would think of the philippines today like this.
we just rant and rant and rant we're just all talk.
and "talk is cheap"
read on guys:
"When I was small, the Philippine peso wasP2to the
$dollar. The
president wasDiosdado Macapagal. Life was simple.
Life was easy. My father
was a farmer. My mother kept a small sari-sari
store where
our neighbors bought sang-perang asin, sang-perang
bagoong, sang-perang
suka, sang-perang toyo at pahinging isang
butil na bawang. Our
backyard had kamatis, kalabasa,
talong, ampalaya, upo, batao, and
okra. Our silong had chicken. We
had a pig, dog & cat. And of
course, we lived on the farm. During
rainy season, my father caught frogs
at night which my mother made
into batute (stuffed frog), or just plain
fried. During the day, he
caught hito and dalag from his
rice paddies,
which he would usually
inihaw. During dry season, we relied on the
chickens, vegetables,
bangus, tuyo, and tinapa. Every now and then,
there was pork and beef
from the town market. Life was so peaceful, so
quiet, no electricity,
no TV. Just the radio for Tia Dely, Roman
Rapido, Tawag ng Tanghalan
and Tang-tarang-tang. And who can forget
Leila Benitez on Darigold
Jamboree? On weekends, I played with my
neighbours (who were all my
cousins). Tumbang-preso, taguan, piko,
luksong lubid, patintero,
at iba pa. I don't know about you, but I
miss those days.


These days, we face the TV, Internet,
e-mail, newspaper, magazine,grocery catalog, or drive around. The
peso is a staggering and incredibleP44to the $dollar. Most people can't
have fun anymore. Life has become a battle. We live to work. Work
to
live. Life is not easy. I was in Saudi Arabia in 1983.It was
lonely, difficult, & scary. It didn't matter if you were a man
or
a woman. You were a target for rape. The salary was cheap &
the
vacation far between. If the boss didn't want you to go on holiday,
you
didn't. They
had your passport. Oh, and the agency charged you
almost 4months of your salary (which, if you had to borrow on a
"20%
per month arrangement" meant your first year's
pay was all
gone before
you even earned it).The Philippines used to be one of
the most
important countries in Asia. Before & during my college
days, many
students from neighboring Asian countries like Malaysia ,
Indonesia ,
Japan and China went to the Philippines to get their
diplomas. Like
Thailand , they went to study agricultures in UP Los Banosand
earned their
bachelors in the Phils and now we imports rice from them. It's
opposite now.
Philippines used to be the exporter of any agriculture
products but now it's
different. We imports because not much land (farms)
they can cultivate due to
private sectors who focused on developing houses,
buildings, supermarkets, mall
and others. What happened now? What's the
government doing? Checking their own
pocket, their own personal interest and
pork barrels. Wow!

Until
1972,like President
Macapagal, President Marcos was one of themost
admiredpresidents of the
world. The Peso had kept its value of P7 to the $dollar
until I finished
college.Today,the Philippines is famous as the "housemaid"
capital of
the world. It ranks very high as the "cheapest labor" capital of
the
world, too. We have maids in Hong Kong, laborers in
Saudi Arabia ,
dancers in Japan ,migrants and TNTs in Australia and
the US , and all
sorts of other "tricky" jobs in other parts of
the globe. Quo
Vadis, Pinoy? Is that a wonder or a worry? Are you
proud to be a
Filipino, or does it even matter anymore? When you
see the
Filipino flag
and hear the Pambansang Awit, do you feel a
sense of pride or a sense of
defeat & uncertainty? If only
things
could change for the better....... Hang on for this is a job for
Superman.
Or whom do you call? Ghostbusters. Joke. Right?

This is one of our problems.

We say "I love the
Philippines ... I am proud to be a Filipino."

When I
send
you a joke, you send it to everyone in your address book even if
it kills
the Internet. But when I send you a note on how to save
our country
& ask you to forward it, what do you do?

You chuck it in
the bin.

I want to help the
maids in Hong Kong .. I want
to help the laborers in Saudi Arabia
... I want to help the dancers
in Japan ... I want to help the TNTs in
America and Australia ...

I want to save the people of the
Philippines ... But I cannot
do it alone. I need your help and everyone
else's.

So please
forward this e-mail to your friends. If
you say you love the Philippines ,
prove it. And if you don't
agree with me, say something
anyway. Indifference is a
crime on its own.



Juan Dela zurC"